This is really quite strange–a day or two after reading Clint’s (Clintjcl.wordpress.com)’s blog entry on talkative coworkers, my very own officemate started doing the same bizarre behaviors that C. had mentioned his doing!
This is particularly strange, because normally my officemate is pretty quiet, and because he’s busy, he normally keeps to himself in general. But the past two days, it has been almost…constant….talking.
Which once again brings me to the eternal question which philosophers have debated since the dawn of time…why do some coworkers just not realize that not everyone likes to talk constantly while at work? Why are so many so blind to the body languange and non-verbal signals of others?
Yesterday, I was sitting at my desk with a huge stack of papers in front of me, as I was trying to read up on some new policies that would affect me. I was very obviously concentrating and leaning over, reading. Yet, my officemate continued to talk. and talk. and talk. about NOTHING IN PARTICULAR.
Examples: Him: ”I got a new laptop bag!”
Me: Cool.
Him: Look at all the compartments!
Me: Uh, yeah. Cool. [goes back to reading]
Him: The other day, so-and-so said to me…
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like him well enough, he’s a decent guy and we often crack each other up. But there’s a time and a place for that. Like during lunchtime, or at the end of the day when both of us don’t have much work to do. But would I constantly engage someone in conversation if they were obviously immersed in something work-related…or even if they were just focused on ANYTHING? No. I’d leave them alone and wait for them to take a break before unleashing a 5-minute rambling summary of random commentary
Which leads me to think that some people just genuinely don’t like sitting in the same room with another person and staying quiet. I can honestly say that it seems like some people have a compulsion to keep talking, even if it’s gibberish, just so they don’t have to actually sit and think and keep themselves busy, rather than relying on external mental stimulation. I can almost sense their mental gears turning, and churning within their skulls, as they wrack their brains trying to think up stuff to say.
I understand that most people just consider constant chatting to be “normal” or “friendly” but really, when I’m already focused on something, it’s extremely hard for me to switch gears and talk to someone. Especially if they happen to bring up a topic I couldn’t care less about, and yet I’ll still have to keep a pleasant, neutral smile plastered on my face so as not to offend them.
If I consistently made efforts to talk about random occurences in my life to a coworker, and the typical result I got was just a blank smile and nodding, that would be a good enough signal for me to discontinue my behavior and just accept that the other person wasn’t interested in small talk. And it WOULDN’T OFFEND ME, either.
So, I shall offer a pittance of advice: If your coworker is bent over his/her desk, brow furrowed in concentration, with headphones on, it might not be the best time to wave your hands in their face to get their attention, just so you can complain about how your car is giving you trouble or how your daughter just entered kindergarten or how you lose your favorite pen.
