In the growing surges of apparent rebellion against the typical “9-5″ schedule that city workers have spoken out about, we have heard many comments that we believe are good indicators of the general opinion people have nowadays of their rigid office jobs. We took the time to ask employees from different local companies about what they think of typical office life here in the city:
”I hate this corporate bulls**t,” one 24-year-old female was gracious enough to tell us on her lunch break, eyes flicking nervously in all directions as she kept an eye out for her immediate (apparently strict) supervisor. “I want to get out of here as soon as I can. They don’t tell you in college that all you’re preparing for is a life of drudgery and conformity. Fuck this!!”
Another 41 year old male seemed to have a similar opinion: “I’d never tell my boss this,” he mused, while sipping on his Red Bull, “but I hate my job. The people I work with are ok, but all of this feels so fake. No one ever says what they really mean, and appearance is everything. Who wants to live like that? I wish I could retire, like, RIGHT NOW,” he says, glaring at his management-imposed Blackberry.
However, one man in America doesn’t seem to mind corporate life. In fact, he seems to…well, be enamored of it. The aforementioned young woman pointed him out to us. “That guy over there seems really into all this corporate bulls**t”, she huffed, rolling her eyes at him. “I never talk to him because he’s like a motherfu**ing automaton.”
Curious, our reporters made our way over to ‘that guy’ to ask his opinion about the general office 9-5, 40 hour workweeks.
”Well, hello!” he said cheerfully. “Would you like a sip of my lowfat caramel macchiato with whipped cream? It’s DELICIOUS.”
Surprised, we declined, and pressed him to answer our questions.
”Oh, well, I guess you could say I really like my job, and my office.” He paused to dab at his mouth with his Starbucks napkin. “…Ok, who am I kidding? I LOVE office jobs. This is my third one in the last fifteen years. I just fuck**g love everything about it! I mean, there’s a dress code, so I don’t have to worry about what I wear every morning…I just put on a variation of the same outfit! And I love having the exact same hours every day…I can just set my alarm for the same time every day! And, man, I just love the atmosphere of my office. So clean, so sterilized, so professional. Why would I ever want to go anywhere else? I just fuck**g love it all!!”
He continued talking to us about his love of corporate life, and insinuated that he indeed slept some nights at the office.
He continued: “Yeah, I don’t get all this stuff about ’sticking it to The Man’ and all these kids saying “Damn the Man!’ It’s like, what has The Man ever done to these people? The Man is loving and supportive and just wants to make sure you pay all your bills. In fact, I love the Man.”
Later on, we asked some other employees about this employee. “Yeah, that one guy just seems to show up at like, all the office functions,” another young employee of the company said. “I don’t get it. I tried going to an office party once and it was the lamest experience of my life. But he’s like, always there. He seems to love spending time with his bosses. Is that, like, natural?”
More research on corporate attitudes forthcoming!
